I still remember the agony of a certain fourth-grade assignment years ago. Scraps of pink, red and white paper littered the floor as our classroom full of 10-year-olds cut out hearts with blunt-end scissors. We tried to make lacy doilies by folding our hearts and cutting the way we made paper snowflakes. We added more hearts with stubby crayons that snapped when we pressed too hard.
We glued our creations to the cardboard milk cartons we had saved up at home and brought into class to make Valentine’s Day mailboxes. Finally, our names were printed in big, bold letters on the front of our boxes and set out on our desks.
The hardest part was still ahead. “You need to bring a Valentine for everyone in the class,” our teacher said, passing out the class list to each of us. Everyone? I thought. All of the boys? Even Curtis?”
That night, I sat at the kitchen table, writing my classmates’ names on squares of tiny Valentine’s cards my mom had bought at the local store. Cartoon animals held hearts with phrases that seemed slightly mortifying when I thought of Curtis. I sifted through the box looking for the card with the least romantic sentiment. “Be mine?” Nope. “You’re sweet!” Still nope.
I’m sure I wasn’t alone in this feeling. Curtis may have felt the exact same way, or maybe one of my other classmates was sifting through their pile looking for the least-endearing card for me. Still, the next day, when we opened our Valentine’s mailboxes on our desks and read through all the cards, it was nice to feel so loved, even if it was teacher-mandated.
I still have mixed feelings about Valentine’s Day.
Of course, it feels good to know you are loved and to be able to remind someone how much you love them. I’m all for having a day that celebrates something positive and heartwarming that also involves delicious candy and thoughtful messages written in cards.
But Valentine’s Day has its downsides too. It’s a holiday that can be a harsh reminder that someone you love is no longer part of your life. Maybe you have just ended a relationship and the heartache is fresh and painful. Maybe your special someone has died recently and this is going to be your first time without them and the loneliness is overwhelming. Or maybe you don’t have a special someone and are totally fine with that, but everywhere you look, it seems like this holiday requires two people to celebrate it.
Valentine’s Day is getting more inclusive if the card section is a true indicator. You can find a card for almost anyone you want to appreciate, with a level of love that goes from polite respect to melt-the-stamp-off-the-envelope steamy. Even dogs and cats can get in on the action, sending a card to their humans to celebrate their love of your ear scratches and litter box scooping skills.
Last week, I wandered through a local store admiring all the ways we have created to tell someone we love them. Heart-shaped boxes of chocolate in every size, bouquets of roses, stuffed animals decked out in pink bows, and sparkling wines filled the shelves and aisles. I was tempted by a giant stuffed octopus with pink hearts on its tentacles for Mike, but I settled on a card and a small box of chocolates to share.
Because after the cards are opened, the fancy chocolate is eaten, and the roses wilt and get thrown out, the most important thing about Valentine’s Day is realizing how lucky we are to have people we love in our lives, whether they are here with us now or forever hold a special place in our hearts.
And that’s something we should celebrate every day.